This old refrain makes us think of wives across the country who are demoralizing their husbands for the hundredth time with their headache.
However, the reality is that women aren't the only ones who suffer from low libido and lack of sexual interest. Men also suffer from this drop in desire. And when men suffer from it, it can be incredibly complicated and difficult for couples to deal with. Many women feel ashamed and angry when their spouses turn their backs on them when they make sexual advances. After all, men are supposed to want sex all the time.
It's easy to see how harmful these kinds of sexual issues can be, for both men and women. Men feel upset that they don't want them when they should, and women feel a sense of suspicion and insecurity when their partners don't want them anymore. They then ask themselves: Is he cheating on me? Is it because I gained weight? He's not attracted to me anymore?
The reality is often much less insidious. Like women, men experience low libido for a number of reasons, both physical and emotional. Maybe they're suffering from a hormonal imbalance (men go through a "life change" just like women do, when their testosterone levels drop), maybe it's a chronic illness like diabetes, or maybe they're just too tired and stressed from work and busy schedules. All of this can have a huge impact on a man's willingness to want sex, especially if his relationship is strained because of it.
Here's what women can do to help stimulate their partner's desire:
Look at the pharmacy : Has he recently started taking any new medications such as antidepressants that could explain his libido problems? Other medications like Propecia (a very popular hair loss treatment) can also lead to decreased desire. Beta-blockers and medications for anxiety can have similar side effects. He might consider talking to his doctor to find out which options will least interfere with his sexual function.
Exercise : There's nothing better for your physical health (or your sexual health) than getting plenty of exercise. Take a long walk after dinner each evening or join a sports team together. Stay active every day and make healthy choices as a couple.
Encourage him to see a doctor: If he's not interested in sex, it could be erectile dysfunction that can often be treated easily with medical intervention. Most men avoid sex if they perceive any risk of poor sexual function and once performance improves, libido often follows. A doctor can also check his testosterone levels, which play an important role in sexual function and sexual interest that is often set aside as men get older.
Dealing with stress: If stress related to his job or other aspects of his life besets him, he could really use some support. Encourage him to seek help, whether it's yours, a friend's, or even a therapist. Indeed, according to research, when one's partner is involved in seeking treatment for the other's sexual dysfunction, it generates the best of prognoses.
Talking about it: Don't throw this issue away. If you want more sexual connection, you need to discuss it with him. Be sure to do this in a non-confrontational manner. Don't accuse or insult her ("I know a million men would love to have sex with me!") Instead, tell her, "I noticed we didn't not as much sex as before, i miss being closer to you and i love having sex with you. What can we do to put some passion and intimacy back into our lives? »
Initiate rapport: If you want more sex and romance, change your relationship, don't sit around waiting for him to make the first move. Kiss him passionately when you leave for work in the morning, surprise him in the shower when he least expects it, and be generous with compliments and positive comments. If you help him feel sexy and desirable, he'll automatically feel more in the mood for results.
Help him make healthy choices: A big hearty dinner with a few glasses of wine might seem like a good way to end the day, but it might also make you too tired and take the urge out of sex. Eat light, nutritious meals and limit your alcohol intake. Instead of being stuck on the couch, indulge in fun, get your heart pumping (it improves libido), do unusual activities like bungee jumping or go to an amusement park. Force yourself out of your comfort zone. The more you can get out of your room and your house, the more comfortable you will feel going back.
Finally, just remember that it's not uncommon for people to experience periods of low desire…whether it's a man or a woman. Just try to stay connected during this time and above all continue to communicate, your relationship will survive and your sexual pleasure will be intact.